Harvesting Positive Emotions
In order to increase positive emotions, you have to confront your negative emotions. Does it mean never to feel negative emotions again? Definitely not. You have to learn to recognize and label all your emotions. In other words, when you feel something, you wonder whether it is a positive or negative emotion. Negative emotions are certainly easier to recognize than positive ones,
Anxiety, fear, resentment, jealousy, frustration, anger, envy, grief and all the other good stuff are a common part of our human experience.
In this blog post, I am not talking about theory, but about practice. Next time this random anxiety wave hits you, you will have a powerful & simple 4-step technique at your disposal. So let’s start.
How Not To Deal With Negative Emotions:
- Don’t try to talk yourself out of it (“it’s not as bad, it’s silly, why am I even thinking about this, …”). It’s counterintuitive I know, but hang on.
- Don’t try to think about a rational solution to your negative emotions. you can’t solve an emotional “problem” with an analytical mind. A lot of the negative emotions are completely irrational anyways (which doesn’t mean you should dismiss them).
You are probably in shock right now. Because I just destroyed the way every “normal” person tries to deal with negative emotions. But please bear with me, this will change your life.
How To Deal With Negative Emotions:
- Don’t resist your negative emotions. Instead, welcome them with open arms. Fully accept your negative emotions (“I feel completely shit right now”). Acceptance is the first step to healing.
- Don’t judge yourself for having those negative emotions (“I feel completely shit right now, and that’s okay, it’s okay to feel shit”). This will take away a lot of the mental resistance which makes everything only worse.
- Go all in on the negative emotion. Lay on your bed, cry, scream, feel like shit, let the emotion take you over, go into the extreme. Don’t try to think anything, just feel 100% into it. Take as much time as you need.
After some time (can be 20 to 30 minutes, sometimes longer) a point will arrive where you genuinely don’t longer want to feel bad anymore. You are done with your negative emotion, you are fed up, you are ready to let go. And that’s the point where you get up from bed, go into the bathroom to wipe your face, and then start living again. Oftentimes it really works like a light switch.
I know this whole process seems counterintuitive, but it works.
Instead of suppressing emotions (= resisting = trying to talk yourself out of it), you accept them without judgement and feel them through.
You trying to be in control, when you are obviously not, makes everything only worse. The mental resistance you have to all your negative emotions is one of the root causes to your suffering.
Don’t Think, Feel.
Feel It To Heal It.
